


Our own luck.

by fxlminare



Series: THE 100 COLLECTION [13]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Azgeda Reader, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Grounder reader - Freeform, John Murphy-centric (The 100), Light Angst, Murphy-centric, Mutual Pining, POV John Murphy (The 100), Protective John Murphy (The 100) - Character, Romantic Fluff, Soft Murphy, The 100 (TV) Season 1, soft john murphy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:54:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26221456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fxlminare/pseuds/fxlminare
Summary: "during season 1 when he was being tortured by the grounders, fem! Azgeda reader could be held captive by Trikru too and they were in cells right next to each other and would talk? and then when he escapes he breaks her out and they start to live together? and they help each other while they are sick of that fever Murphy gets and just — they fall in love and Murphy gets all soft."
Relationships: John Murphy (The 100)/Reader
Series: THE 100 COLLECTION [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2111010
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	Our own luck.

**Author's Note:**

> **warnings:** mentions of specific types of torture, allusions to character's wish to die but not suicide
> 
> **a/n:** gotta stan a cockroach, right? ✨

**MURPHY'S POV**

Stupid Clarke and stupid Bellamy, thinking they had it all figured out because they were privileged and older respectively; they could all die for all I cared, killed by the Grounders or dying of hunger, who cared? Not me. The four other cowards that had joined me had dropped me like going after Charlotte hadn't been their idea too, leaving me alone and banished. Well, I'd figure it out: I had my knife and I could hunt, I just needed a source of water and somewhere to stay the night and I'd leave this place at sunrise. I knew there was a cave somewhere near there where Bellamy had run to hide when the fog showed up like the coward he was, leaving Atom to die alone. Too bad the fog didn't get him too. All of them.

\- "Who cares? I'm better on my own."

I finally found the cave and settled to spend the night there, waking up when my stomach couldn't handle the hunger any longer, inspecting the terrain around me for a moment, trying to figure out which would be the best way to go. The camp was in front of me to my right and the Grounders seemed to come from my left, so I decided to go down right, looking for my next meal but, instead, finding a small current of water, choosing to stand by to see if any animals would come drink of it to figure out if it was safe to drink.

I probably waited for around an hour, a deer finally showing up and drinking from the current, leaving as fast as it had come; my thirst took the best of me, running towards the water to satiate my thirst and washing my face. I could do this. If anyone could, it was me. I had to think that way. And the smartest idea right now was to settle there, being far away from the camp, having a source of water and probably food, walking around the place to see if there was somewhere I could sleep safely, determining my best bet was to climb a tree.

And it all went down okay for the next 48 hours until one night lying on my branch I heard movement around but was unable to see where it came from and who or what was making it. I only saw the Grounder when he jumped on me from an upper branch, knocking me out almost immediately. I thought he was going to kill me as I saw him but he didn't for I woke up with tied hands and feet in a cage, frantically looking around not knowing where I was but quickly discovering it was their camp as I saw a wall behind me alongside another cage with someone else in it, but it wasn't any of the people in camp cause I could see a bit of a tattoo on their upper arm. _Great._

\- "If you think they're going to come searching for me so you can ambush them, you should have picked anyone else. Literally, anyone but me."

The Grounder didn't say anything else that I could understand but was big on having a conversation in whatever language they spoke with his partner, eyeing me from time to time before the latter nodded, and then they both were gone.

**\------------------**

**YOUR POV**

I wasn't exactly sure how long those stupid Trikru had gotten me in the stupid cage and I wasn't certain what they wanted to do with me; after all, they had to know by now that my people wouldn't come after me. That was Azgeda: if you fall behind, you get left behind. The only option for me to go back to my people was escaping the cage and fighting my way through; I was ready to do so, but the damn cage wouldn't give in and I was starting to get weaker the longer I was there for feeding me was, of course, not their top priority.

They had brought someone else; at first, I didn't see them for it was dark but, the next morning, I managed to get a good glimpse at them before they dragged me out to torture me. It was a guy, probably around my age, but he bore no marks of any clan: Skaikru. I had heard about them but never seen them since the news traveled down the forest; I had thought it was a joke from Trikru, some type of new stupid strategy to get at us but, as I landed eyes on him, I realized it was real. There was a new clan or, at least, new people around here. The fact that he didn't speak our language made even more believable the fact that they came from the sky. I didn't like that, more people meant sharing more space which Trikru clearly hadn't liked so I knew my clan wouldn't either and, therefore, I didn't exactly enjoy the idea of even knowing them.

The days passed and I started to wonder when Trikru would finally end my misery by either killing me or starving me to death. The Skaikru guy seemed to be thinking the same, tortured just the same as I was, nails pulled out, beaten up, broken fingers that Trikru carefully put back together to break them again. I was tired of this.

\- "Taim na frag op ai?" [When are you going to kill me?]

I received no answer, shaking my head and hitting the door from my cell, thinking that, if I became too annoying, it would all just finally end.

\- "Hey, hey, stop!" -the Skaikru guy addressed me- "They will..."

\- "Shof yu op, Skaikru!" [Silence, Skaikru!]

\- "You know I don't know what you're saying."

I kept making noise, ignoring him but getting tired easily for I was just being fed not to faint during one of their torture sessions, not enough to put up a fight. I was tired and angry, and I hated Trikru and I hated the stupid cell and I wanted to kill everyone there. I couldn't help but wonder why they kept me there, with the Skaikru guy; nothing made sense. _When you take a war prisoner, you use them to get the information you need and then you kill them; it's no use keeping someone who won't talk alive, so why am I still breathing?_ I knew they knew I wouldn't speak nor be missed by my clan. They had to have something else in mind.

The days passed, the same routine every day. A little different since the Skaikru guy came in. I wasn't sure how, but we started speaking; well, we exchanged a couple of words when we were both conscious and not on the verge of losing it. I wondered if he'd have it in him to kill me if I asked; I wondered if he'd ask me to kill him if we got the chance. He was much more resilient than he looked, I'd give him that much.

\- "So, Azgeda." -they had just thrown me back into my cell after tearing off my nails; I'd give anything to be distracted from the pain so I decided to listen to him- "What's that."

\- "My clan." -I laid on my back, shaking my hands in the air, breathing in and out, trying to let go of the pain- "You're Skaikru."

He didn't answer immediately, so I turned my head to see him laying like I was with the exception that he was bleeding from his nose. I shook my head. We were going to die a slow, painful death. I was sure of it, but it never seemed to come: we were still being fed and offered water, tortured just the same, maybe for shorter periods of time but more times a day. I was pretty sure I was building immunity to all they were doing to me; it was all so dumb.

Murphy and I eventually started to talk more, even if it was just telling each other of the questions they asked us and the tortures they used unable not to laugh once when he told me they had made very small cuts up his arm and throw salt on them, remembering what I had been taught for torture was much more brutal and efficient; now I was glad Trikru wasn't us, otherwise, we'd have been dead days ago.

\- "Maybe dying would be better than staying alive like this."

\- "Such the optimistic type."

\- "Could say the same about you." -I straightened myself, resting my back against the wall of my cell- "I'm surprised you haven't begged to die yet."

\- "Why haven't you."

It was a good question. I didn't want to die.

\- "I supposed a part of me still wants to live. Hopes we'll get out of here."

\- "We?"

\- "What makes you think only one of us could make it through to the end?" -I eyed him, seeing he had mimicked my movements, resting against the bars that separated our cells- "They torture us similarly so if one dies, both of us will." -I paused for a second- "No, no, you're right. I have much bigger possibilities of seeing this through than you."

\- "Because you're trained and prepared for this."

\- "Exactly."

He chuckled, shaking his head before I closed my eyes. At least now I had someone to talk to other than the insects crawling around us. This whole situation could have been much, much worse. I should know.

**\------------------------**

**MURPHY'S POV**

I was starting to lose count of how long I had been there, the only reason I even bothered to keep my ears peeled was Y/N. We were torture partners, knowing when they took one of us first, the other wouldn't stand a chance of not being beaten up double for the first one's lack of answers. The previous day, they had taken me first and I has been too weak to keep up with what they did to me and what they asked, being thrown back in my cell and pretty much going unconscious as my head hit the floor; I woke up the next morning not remembering much, struggling to open my eyes, seeing Y/N was lying on her cell on her stomach looking more beaten up than usual. As I tried to wake my body up, stretching my legs, my feet hit the door of my cell and it... opened. I couldn't believe it. It couldn't be. I carefully looked around us, seeing no one there, pushing the door a little further with my leg. It was open, I was not making it up.

\- "Y/N!" -I took a deep breath as I got on all fours, trying to be quiet but still calling out for her- "Y/N, wake up."

\- "Shut up, Murphy."

At least I knew she was alive, getting out of my cell, keeping my ears alert just like my eyes, stumbling to Y/N's door, seeing it was closed. _They must have forgotten to close mine when they came after her. Savages._ I found a rock around and hit the lock of her cell, seeing it was pretty worn off, smashing it a couple of times, each time taking a second to look around and wait in case I heard movement until I managed to break it.

\- "Hey, come on." -I opened Y/N's cell, offering her my hand because I knew she must have been at least as weak as I was if not more- "Come on, Y/N, we have to go."

\- "Leave, find your people; I feel sick."

\- "I'm not leaving you, come on."

I pulled on her arm, finally managing to get her out of the cell, asking her to just push a little longer, making our way away from Trikru, stumbling through the forest, not really knowing where I was going as Y/N seemed to be unwilling to cooperate, wondering what they had done to her the previous day for she had been very quiet since they threw her back in the cage. I missed my step and we both ended up rolling down a hill, cursing all I knew as I laid on the ground on my back, trying to look around.

\- "Y/N, are you okay?"

\- "Not really."

I turned on my stomach, seeing she was laying not too far from me but coughing blood and bleeding from her eyes. It scared me, seeing her so beaten up, struggling to get to her, ripping the bottom of my shirt, and carefully cleaning the blood from her face as she laid on her stomach.

\- "I'm going to die."

\- "No, you're not."

\- "You have to go, they've poisoned me."

\- "What?"

\- "The bleeding, it's a type of poison they use to weaken their enemy."

\- "But you can get better, right?" -I looked frantically around me- "Right?"

\- "Some people do, some are immune. Maybe you are. You should go."

\- "Yeah, where?"

\- "To warn your people."

\- "Skaikru are not my people." -I looked at her again, seeing she had her eyes closed- "I am my people."

Y/N chuckled but ended up coughing blood again, so I pushed her to the side, trying to think of anything I could do, standing on my feet, thanking whoever was listening as I saw a current of water not far away from us. I kneeled next to Y/N, asking her not to move to which she replied that it wasn't as if she could get up and leave, helping her against a tree to keep her straight up and making my way to the water, finding a fallen branch cut in half like a very large bowl so I grabbed it and filled it with water, trying to get to Y/N as fast as I could without dropping all of it.

The next 24 hours were... horrible. I wasn't exactly sure how to keep Y/N alive, knowing that, at least, she had to stay hydrated, keeping her laying on her side not to choke on her blood every time she coughed. She did tell me that the first 12 hours would be the worse; what neither of us knew was that, when her own discomfort started to halt, I'd start to get worse; Y/N said she had infected me but, as we spoke in between vomit and coughs, we realized we had both been infected. It was obvious she knew much more about this, putting a wet cloth to my forehead that I had to admit made me feel slightly better.

I passed out at some point, opening my eyes again to see it was sunset. Or sunrise. I couldn't really tell. I had no idea how long I had been out, trying to sit up but quickly being pushed down, panicking for a moment until I saw Y/N's face.

\- "You're still coming out of it and weak, don't try anything stupid, alright?"

\- "How are you?"

\- "Much better." -she sat beside me.

\- "How long has it been." -I eyed her, before looking around us, realizing she had, somehow, built a shelter over our heads and had a fire going with something on it- "How long have I been out?"

\- "A day, more or less." -she shrugged her shoulders- "You woke up from time to time but I see you don't remember."

I shook my head; I had no recollection of anything after we left the camp, everything was blurry and messy and... painful and red. She told me I was getting better but that I'd still need some time to be 100% recovered. I couldn't help but wonder why I looked like shit and she looked like she had been resting all this time instead of working around.

\- "I guess my immune system is better than yours."

\- "Will you drop the 'I'm better than you because I'm Azgeda' discourse already?"

\- "For once I meant it literally." -she shook her head with a small smile on her lips- "John, it's good enough we've recovered, don't make a competition out of this too."

I felt a small pang of something in my stomach; I thought it was hunger so I asked if we had anything to eat but, when the time actually came, my stomach refused to keep anything down. Y/N asked me about it, but I had no idea how to explain so she told me it'd be better if I caught some rest while I still could.

\- "What's that supposed to mean."

\- "I assume you'll want to go back to your people and see if they take you back in or make it out here on your own."

\- "What are you going to do?"

\- "Well, going back is not exactly an option." -she stood up, crossing her arms over her chest and looking around- "I'll leave Trikru territory and find somewhere else to be."

\- "Alone?"

\- "Not many options when the enemy captures you."

\- "But you survived."

\- "My clan won't take me back." -she eyed me for just a second- "I'm already dead to them; it's how it works: you're captured, then you're left behind. Not being killed only means you weren't even good enough for the enemy to use, so why would the clan take you back."

\- "What about your family?"

\- "Clan above blood."

\- "Doesn't that... anger you?"

\- "It's how things are down here."

**\---------------------**

**YOUR POV**

It was true, I couldn't go back to my plan: they'd banish me for letting myself get caught and for being so useless that not even Trikru wanted to kill me. I was clanless now; that was how it had to be. And I was okay with that, that was how we worked. Even the Queen's son was clanless now.

To my astonishment, I survived the sickness, not because I didn't know I could health-wise but because I wasn't sure if I'd make it out in the open but, turns out, John had done everything in his hand to keep me alive, even if he thought he hadn't. I stood behind with him to make sure he survived it too and then, I presumed he'd go his own way. 

But that didn't happen.

\- "We should keep moving."

\- "Why?" -John looked up at me from where he was laying under the sun- "This place has everything we need."

\- "Do I need to remind you we are still in Trikru territory?" -I let out an exasperated breath- "I've told you, you can't find a place to settle down when you have to run away from everyone."

\- "But we aren't running away," -he stood up- "are we?"

\- "Maybe you aren't." -I faced him- "Maybe your people will take you back in someday but mine won't."

\- "I've told you, they are not my people." -I rolled my eyes for what seemed the hundredth time that day, turning around, ignoring him and his discourse that I had enough times to have it memorized- "You're my people now."

\- "I'm what?"

I furrowed my eyebrows as he stood in front of me, wondering exactly what he meant by that. Yeah, if I were to ever call someone a friend, it'd be John but it was hard to let go of the 'my people = my clan' doctrine. But it all seemed so easy for him. I wished it were too for me.

\- "Come on, Y/N, we've been living and running around together for weeks now; I know your people are harsh but you have a heart."

\- "I do not."

\- "Then why did you stay with me to keep me alive, huh?"

\- "I thought I'd return the favor since you kept me from choking to death first."

\- "You're welcome."

He grinned at me before he started to pack his things. I liked John, I'd admit that much, but never out loud. We kept traveling together, moving as far as we could from our respective clans, both of us with made-up minds to never go back. At some point, I came to the realization that John was now, in fact, my people, probably my only real friend that I had ever made; I wasn't used to it but being around him was easy. I told him about my past and he told me about his; we had one thing in common: neither of our lives had been easy, more so dictated by the people in charge. Choosing not to go back was probably the first real choice we both had made. And it felt good. Really good.

We eventually settled down next to a river that went down to the sea nearby; I was certain it was in the middle of two clans territory, belonging to neither so John and I decided it'd be a good place to settle for the time being, decide what we'd do with the rest of our lives. I had been teaching him how to hunt and set traps sporadically because we were always on the move, but now that we were starting to build some similar to a tent, I decided we should step his game up, so that's what we did. I showed him how to fight too, not really seeing it coming when he started to easily catch up.

\- "I haven't had this much fun in... ever, honestly."

I laid on the sand on my back after John knocked me down but I wasn't angry or annoyed, I was... happy, weirdly animated. It had been now three months since we escaped from Trikru and John and I had grown close together.

\- "Touché."

John laid next to me. I had thought how I felt was what friendship meant until I started to reflect on it; this was more than plain friendship but I was so excited to actually have a friend, I didn't want to ruin it. We had a lot of time and who knew where it'd all get us.

\- "You can't say 'touché' to everything I say."

\- "Why not?"

\- "Because that goes to show your lack of depth and fascinating things to say."

I felt his eyes on me as soon as I closed my mouth; messing around with him was really fun, especially because his dry humor and banter aligned so well with my own. I rested my hands behind my head, closing my eyes, and simply enjoying the breeze and the sun on my face. I wondered where life would take us. We could go to Polis, see how things were there, although my tattoos would be a problem for that.

\- "Excuse me." -I move my hand right in front of my face, the sun having been covered by John, my palm hitting his chin- "I was..."

\- "You can't call me boring and get away with it."

\- "I didn't call you 'boring'." -I opened my eyes, seeing he was still laying beside me but his head was over mine as one of his hands rested next to my opposite side- "I said you lack fascinating things to say at times."

\- "So you want me to keep you entertained."

\- "I wouldn't mind."

I shrugged my shoulders, closing my eyes again, trying to calm my breathing. I really liked John and this was not helping with my recent realization of what it all actually meant. I wanted to throw myself into the river to cool down but I thought that'd be too obvious. I had shadow still over my face so I furrowed my eyebrows.

\- "John, can you move?"

He didn't answer immediately as he usually did, so I opened my eyes again, seeing he was still looking down at me, his eyes focused on mine with such concentration that, id I didn't know any better, I'd have sworn he was reading my mind. It was almost intrusive but also... I felt all the heat of my body rush to my face, gulping as he didn't make a move to get away.

\- "Did your brain freeze or what?"

He blinked as if coming out of a trance, smiling at me and moving back to his initial position. I wondered what that meant. I didn't want to spend the rest of the day thinking about it but, since he remained silent most of it, I had no other option than being left alone with my thoughts and, therefore, keep going over it. I had not many theories. Maybe I had something on my face. Maybe he had been trying to think of something but couldn't find anything to tease me with. That last one seemed unprecedented, so I discarded it quickly.

After dinner, he said he'd pick it all up so I nodded, walking up the cliff that separated the forest from the beach, sitting down on a rock to watch the sunset. And, of course, keep running over the events of that day. I was not used to not knowing; I wasn't used to anything that was happening lately but, deep down, I couldn't say it bothered me. I liked my new life but I'd appreciate it if things were more straight forward at times.

**\-------------------------**

**MURPHY'S POV**

Having Y/N with me had been like a miracle, and I wasn't one to believe in those kinds of things. The more time I spent with her, the more I realized I was falling for her. And that was a problem because, if it was going to be just us and I loved her and she didn't love me... well, awkward. Since the weather was nice, we had settled for simply building a small structure to keep us from the rain but nothing too complicated for we still slept out in the open. It was nice. And I was feeling myself changing; changing for the better: I was less angry at the world, looking for Y/N as soon as I woke up was routine now, going out to hunt together or just one of us as the other stood back. I had come to enjoy the little things: her eyes on me as we spoke, her smile, and her hand on mine when she handed me something, her laughter was music to my ears. I was becoming a better version of myself and it was in big part thanks to Y/N. She might've been Azgeda but, the longer we were away from that, the more I realized she was just like me: a kid whose life had been planned out since the beginning.

That afternoon, I had simply intended to tease her, already knowing what I was going to say but, as I stood over her, watching her calm expression, the trust for me that her body radiated... I realized maybe we could work out. And when she opened her eyes and I read them like an open book, seeing she was weirded out I was so close but also seeing the little movement her upper lip made when she was embarrassed... maybe she felt something for me too.

I was too in my head the rest of the day, coming to the conclusion that I had to try; yeah, we had time but I wasn't sure I was willing to wait. Everything good that had ever happened to me had ended and I knew I'd never forgive myself if I didn't take a chance now and then something happened and we were separated forever.

\- "Okay, it's easy. You got this."

I tried to motivate myself, jumping a bit in my place after Y/N had left and I had put everything back into place. I had it. _I got this._ I walked up the hill, Y/N turning her head as she heard me, a small smile on her lips as she saw me. She was so beautiful. I took a deep breath as she turned back to look towards the ocean, sitting down beside her. I couldn't help my eyes from moving back to her; I knew I was supposed to be looking at the sunset but she was so much better than the sun, so much brighter and warm and...

\- "John, the sunset is right there."

Y/N chuckled, eyeing me as she tilted her head my way. I had to do it.

\- "I know, but there's something else I'd rather spend the rest of my life looking at."

\- "Don't get corny now." -she rolled her eyes before pointing in front of her- "What's better than all those colors."

\- "You are."

It felt so effortless to say it out loud, almost as easy as it was to read Y/N's expression as she turned to look at me: confusion and chaos behind her eyes. She furrowed her eyebrows and opened her mouth, trying to say something but closing it again as she didn't find the words. And, for some reason, I wasn't worried or fearful, I was happy I told her -or started to explain- how I felt.

\- "I'm... confused." -she licked her lips- "Are you trying to tell me something, John?"

She eyed me carefully, inspecting every millimeter of my expression and, upon seeing the smile on my lips as I nodded, her eyes lightened with excitement, a prideful smile on her lips as she turned to look at the sunset again, pulling her knees to her chest. I knew she knew. And she knew I knew. And that was enough. I moved my arm over her shoulders, pulling her closer to me, her head resting over my shoulder, one of her hands finding my free one and interlacing our fingers together. Maybe the universe had thrown us all it had and pushed us through everything it had so that we'd end up here: stronger, making our own luck, shaping our destiny... together.

**Author's Note:**

> **Thank you for reading.**
> 
> Please, remember to leave me some kudos and feedback, it's free and quick. 


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